I was researching the 'Top 50 Female Bloggers' for good reading material. I'd love to be on that list too so I'm a tiny bit curious about who's on the list. How did they land a top spot? What are women writing about these days?
Apparently, one of these top bloggers writes about raising her 'Gender Non-Conforming' child. She also a has a book, "Raising My Rainbow" and has been seen on talk shows.
I have to admit my interest was peaked.
(With a transsexual father, I thought I've heard it all, but literally the 21st century has thrown some terms at me that I swear are being made up by the minute.)
Upon further online stalking, it turns out this mother is raising a 9yr old boy who wants to be a boy (in body) yet loves dressing in girls attire. He also enjoys playing with girl toys and has a knack for interior design. This is called Gender Non-Conforming.
Why give it a title? Titles are inherently conforming. The titles are what Psychologists use to categorize behavior. Hyper kid? ADHD! The doctors will give you a title if you want one.
Just let a kid be different without slapping on a title before age 5.
From where I stand, it's called...his career interests are along the lines of drag queen or interior decorator. He might be theatrical and enjoy the attention. So be it! I'm not off by much though.
Reading her latest Twitter post, she states her son 'wants pic taken at Alaska's portion of WWII Memorial because it's his fav drag queen'.
I had no idea what that meant until she mentioned how she enjoys watching Rupaul's Drag Race with her son. I'm assuming "Alaska" is the name of a popular drag queen since Rupaul is the queen of queens.
WWII memorial in Alaska = favorite drag queen.
Everybody is congratulating her on a job well done- wonderful parenting! What a great mom! Nobody has just one tiny question? Not one?!! Another 21st century gaffe!
I'm over here practically having an aneurysm from the major eye roll I just endured.
Here's my first question: How does a 9yr old know what a drag queen is? My 9yr old does not...at all.
But wait, did this mother just say she and her son were working with a gender therapist before the kid even entered grade school? (Ohhhh, scratching my eyeballs out).
Next question bursting at the seams: Let's flip this same scenario for a girl. If my daughter enjoyed wearing jeans, t-shirt, and ball caps as well as playing with typical boy stuff, then wouldn't she be a tomboy? Not "gender non-conforming". Of course raising a "tomboy" may not land me a lucrative living though.
Slap me with another gender title, 2016! Go ahead, I dare ya!
And another one...of many questions: How did the 9yr old discover Rupaul was his favorite show unless somebody introduced him to it? Hmmm....that's not your average Saturday cartoon.
If I want my child to 'be who they are', I would let them BE, not watch drag queen shows with him. My daughter begs to watch "The Bachelor" show with me and as a Bachelor fan, I'd love to have a buddy watch it with me, but as a parent, I have to say no.
The 21st century also forgot they are raising little kids, not mini adults!
Can I pretty please ask one more? In this interview, the mother states her fascination with transgender/trans issues BEFORE even having children! So she's reading books by trans then conveniently has a borderline trans (gender non-conforming) child?
(Insert truth: There are absolutely gender variant kids- many are inherently. It is a phase unless they receive cues otherwise. Sometimes parents create something that isn't truly there. True gender variant or trans is legitimate. I'm not stating there is no such thing).
The power of suggestion and environment is even more powerful than we give it credit. When combined with a suggestive child, open to the cues of his parents, the outcome isn't surprising.
Football isn't in anyone's genes (some fans may cordially disagree), but I know my daughter's friend is a football fanatic...because his dad is. In fact, a lot of kids have a similar career as their parents too.
Most mothers don't know what to do pertaining to gender variances. They panic. With gender headlines running through their heads, they cling to the latest term.
A title and attention only exacerbates the behavior. This mother thought she knew what to do because she's hypersensitive to the subject, being that her brother is gay.
Being that my dad is transsexual, it would've been easy for me to jump to conclusions when my son wore a fairy costume for one of my daughter's at-home plays. I have to leave that in my past and parent from the present.
One mother contacted me regarding her tomboy daughter who was being called a lesbian and transgender by her peers. Since when did tomboy mean transgender? The words are out there, but people are more confused than ever, and even used the terms in a derogatory way.
Let me know what you think.
Come on, doesn't anyone else care?
Why do I care? Since having my own children, I seem to care about children in general. Having a background in Psychology, this is crazy business to me.
Gender Non-conforming kids: Open for discussion.
Wine Advice + Uncommon Sense
Everybody needs to express themselves in some form- mine happens to be written form...with an opinion. Occasionally I get in the mood for some wine and answer life's tricky questions.