Children will not budge until their desires are satisfied"
I ran across this quote the other day and I think it was meant to be inspirational, but as a tired mommy- Lord help me- it's a very maddening experience to raise persistent kids.
When they're persistent, I can't help but think I've failed. Defiance comes to mind- perhaps the persistence is a sign of defiance and a failed mommy. I'm literally doing a job that makes me feel like I'm not "doing my job".
Maybe unyielding persistence is that children see their goals, desires, and inspirations more clearly than us, adults. So yelling at them when all else fails is like saying, 'Hey quit being so good at trying to chase your desires'...and in the meantime... 'Can I have some of your energy and gumption?'
Let me not minimize the fact that kids turned out to be a great lesson-giving present. I'm not merely referring to all the sappy crap like how they teach you to be patient and selfless, but to see the world through their eyes is truly refreshing, life-infusing insight.
At my age, experience comes and goes. Feeling wise comes and goes too. It could be my mid-life crisis talking but a fat load of good it has done me when I'm still seeking what I had as a kid. It's true, the elderly have experience and sure most everyone learns from experience, eventually.
Adults marry the wrong person, stick out the wrong job, and cling to bad habits. When it's not working they look for guidance...again...outside of themselves. They read about how to stop making a mess of life. They want someone to tell them how to do life right like a parental lecture.
I remember when my mom was dating. I was 10 or 11 and she was totally infatuated with this guy. I told her he's not a good person. She couldn't see it. That was a kid-wisdom moment because as it turns out, my kid-self gave better advice than her stack of dating books.
Adults lose sight of who they are in favor of learning the ways of the world. I realize that's called adulthood, but big whoop! Yes, it includes many external rewards but it doesn't do much for nourishing the soul's desires. It kills persistence. I know. I'm a mommy and I'd love to kill my kids' persistence probably because of my adult perspective! But persistence is a treasure.
Surrendering yourself to somebody else's ways is not.
By the time you're middle-aged (around my age), you're neck-deep in life, searching for a rescue line.
(I've heard myself reply to friends' question, 'How are you?' with 'I'm in survival mode'. Truth!)
Growing up entails unlearning a deep inner wisdom only to re-learn it and call that "adulthood"...and "experience"... or "personal growth"...ugh! Never mind all that.
There's a tailored-fit wisdom inside each of us. Even if your childhood wasn't ideal- that little girl or little boy is waiting to be unleashed, to heal, and to persevere!
It's time to see what kids see.
Where kids see possibilities, adults calculate the probabilities.
Uncover your kid wisdom...
And remember...You have never been more yourself than when you were a kid.
BTW, If it ever looks like I'm giving into my kids, I'm either exhausted or teaching them that persistence can pay off.
"The world needs "childish" thinking: bold ideas, wild creativity and especially optimism. Kids' big dreams deserve high expectations, starting with grownups' willingness to learn from children as much as to teach." Adora Svitak
I'm passionate about no-nonsense self-improvement. Too many of us are plagued by faulty thought patterns- I aim to change that!