The civil unrest that exists between (conflicting) groups (whether black, white, LGBT, Religious, men, women, etc) is a war of "Us" and "Them".
In every politically correct (or incorrect), sensitive topic I've discussed, I've found it's best to add a disclaimer before I even get started. So here it is:
Disclaimer: This isn't a hate post nor what you might expect. LGBT happens to be the perfect topic and most obvious example for the point I want to make.
I've got a gay friend...sounds so corny but yes I do, I've got gay acquaintances, gay family members, and a even a transsexual dad. I don't see them as "gay", but rather a mother or a person with similar interests as me, same blood as me....
In fact, I will admit to my dubiousness about those who lead with their sexual orientation or agenda as if it defines them. If gay defines you, then I have nothing more to get to know. If that's how you see yourself first, then I can predict a LGBT agenda will ensue and we will never get beyond the battle of views.
Do not proclaim I hate because I don't agree with everything LGBT or believe I need to preach to my kids, 'Love is Love'.
What I aim to do with this post is offer various perspectives besides the two: Hate and Acceptance/ "Us" and "Them" because I believe it's beneficial for all groups and walks of life to accept there is middle ground. I think so many reside somewhere in the middle too.
The issue in our society, is we're told you either hate or accept. This puts everyone in an "us" and "them" situation instead of a cordial meet-in-the-middle mentality. The headlines are misleading. Everywhere we look, there's an all-or-nothing mentality about the current topic. Do you really think there are only two sides to every situation? sorry, but that's ignorant! Life just isn't this way and you'll find one of the oldest psychological discoveries is the destructive thought pattern associated with all-or-nothing thinking.
Acceptance means you have no more questions, you do not grow, you do not learn. You stay stagnant and ignorant. Always second-guess blind acceptance because most of what people practice as acceptance is merely turning a blind eye.
Whew! That was a long disclaimer, but this isn't my first sensitive topic exploration. Shall we continue? If you've made it this far, congrats!
I don't even like the word acceptance. It's not possible to simultaneously encourage people to celebrate their differences yet tell everyone to inhabit the same trait of acceptance. To expect one trait and one action of everyone is in essence discouraging our differences.
Acceptance and the expectation of, is killing them and damaging our youth.
Suddenly acceptance by an entire society is the desired goal. Highly impractical when differences exist. We also have to realize acceptance doesn't even come from the special interest groups themselves. It's a two-way street.
For instance, I asked a friend to do a guest post on my blog. He reflected on his transgender journey (all 60+ years of his life). He has an amazing sense of self in spite of feeling lost at times. He looked to a transgender support group and decided to talk with them (about not transitioning): The following is an excerpt...
"I thought long and hard before I brought this idea up (not transitioning) in my “trans” group. I researched as much as I could, but one night I finally asked the question... it took all my strength to say it because I love my sisters in this community even if I am a little different on my delivery.
As you can glean from the example is my friend did not fit the popular notion within his trans support group. He didn't fit into their box. We supposedly recognize a sexuality spectrum yet those that don't fit a specific mold are turned away even among their own support system. A tragedy of an "Us" and "Them" mentality...let's get to that now!
Speaking of fitting into the box, how about Caitlyn Jenner, the Republican. Because I have a transsexual father, I keep tabs on Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner's journey. Her transgender "friends" berate her constantly on her political views. It's sad, she has to defend herself among the people that preach acceptance.
They've made Cait believe she is "one of us" (LGBT) now. The very notion of "us" and "them" divides people, not unites them. It's why the cohesiveness of our nation is diminishing. My dad isn't keen on the LGBT community. The "rules" are constricting. My dad is a very multi-layered and complex individual, meaning he may be a trans but is also conservative.
These types of people should be celebrated, not forced to join the "Us" and "Them" perspective of the world.
In this episode I watched Candis Cayne (Cait's new BFF) and Chandi Moore tell Cait that she needs to forget who she was and she needs to talk about herself as "one of them" and a member of their community. 12 times within 5 minutes! "You're one of us. You need to feel inclusive in our community. Start saying "we". As you continue, I need you to say "we" and "them"." I don't know about you Cait, but I wouldn't drink the punch they're passing out.
I'm not for brainwashing...
If someone approached you like this, but it was related to joining a religious community, it's safe to say you'd likely head for the hills and not look back at the cult.
The LGBT community has a good thing with Cait and they're ruining it. They want to put her in a box and force her to identify as a victim of the general public- they are viewing the world out of their pain. You see, Cait identifies with more than just that community,
The more acceptance they gain from a "group", the more isolated they feel from the general public.
How open-minded are you if you follow others?
We need to identify and gain awareness of this actual divide between LGBT and the general population correlates with the dysfunctional "us" and "them" mentality: (Mcleod, Saul. Simply Psychology. Social Identity Theory. 2008.)
"This is known as in-group (us) and out-group (them). Social identity theory states that the in-group will discriminate against the out-group to enhance their self-image.The central hypothesis of social identity theory is that group members of an in-group will seek to find negative aspects of an out-group, thus enhancing their self-image.
Prejudiced views between cultures may result from this mentality."
The Social Identity Theory can be applied to groups of all types, but particularly groups who promote an agenda. I realize the LGBT community has gained footing in society as far as the recent ruling/approval of same-sex marriage. The hate and differences that still exist will likely continue because the acceptance we know today is an outward (and superficial) gesture for most, as we see between black and whites.
If nothing else, I wanted to shed some light on the fact that we often think the "us" and "them" mentality only applies to the majority versus the minority groups in our society. Quite the opposite can be true and even those special interest groups have an abundance of that mentality.
I'm passionate about no-nonsense self-improvement. Too many of us are plagued by faulty thought patterns- I aim to change that!