Newsflash! The New Year is here! Ok so you know that...because you don't live under a rock. But did you do that one thing? You know. Make a New Year's resolution? Yikes! Self-loathing creeping up in 5...4...3...2...1. The willpower-fatigue starts setting in.
Despite good intentions, we begin to struggle with our well-meaning resolution and unless you resolve to be hating yourself for failing a perfect start to the year, I suggest you ditch the resolution thing. Totally. Smack the next person who says to you, "New year. New YOU!"
It can be refreshing and invigorating by taking a big whiff of the the fresh new year. But don't let that initial "high" pressure you into a resolution.
Confession: I haven't made a New Year's resolution in at least a decade.
Better than a New Year's resolution is continuous growth.
I don't know many people who grow through self-loathing after a New Year's resolution goes south. Growth can happen on February 1st. December 29th. It's not an end-all, be-all, make-it-or-break-it, January 1st thing. Why not start the year off with reflecting on the past year and the growth you received from your experiences?
My dad used to say to me: "...as long as you're doing better than before."
He instilled in me a growth mindset. Don't go backwards if you don't have to. And if you absolutely have to, learn something from the experience to better yourself moving forward.
He'd say, 'Buy a house, but only if it's an upgrade from the one before.' Now that's a superficial example but there were other pieces of wisdom like...whatever, it is, be it a job or relationship, continue to improve upon it.
Eventually making something better, little by little, in the form of continuous growth leads to some awesome improvements before you know it. People like big bam in-your-face change like a grand entrance into the new year. Big whoop! Then Big flop!
When establishing a New Year's resolution, I would fuss about creating the ideal circumstances by Jan.1st, to begin the profound promise to myself. Doesn't it seem that resolutions need to begin on ideal footing? Have you ever had an ideal life? Did it last about 5 freakin' minutes, right? Like a New Year's resolution.
That's why I've come to love a growth mindset instead. No pressure. No deadline. Imagine that! Better than a New Year's resolution is a 'better-than-before' mindset.
Sometimes better is less than before. We strip away what we need versus what weighs us down. It can mean giving up what no longer serves a purpose in your life anymore. Old expectations. Worn-out ideals and goals. You can let go and be better for it.
One, no-fail way to view personal growth is realizing that even in the depths of your worst-of-times or best-of-times in life, it is possible for personal growth.
The path that leads to our best possible future self comes together over time.
You can grow without requiring ideal resources. You can grow in the middle of a divorce. You can grow at your sister's wedding. You can grow after a job loss. You can grow while out having coffee with a friend. You can grow simply by sitting down and reflecting. Possibilities for growth extend beyond January, or even 2017 for that matter.
I'm passionate about no-nonsense self-improvement. Too many of us are plagued by faulty thought patterns- I aim to change that!